Nah, dude, it's pronounced Foo-Ket
Patong... ta ta ta tong
#Phuket, Thailand is probably as touristy as tourism gets and #Patong Beach is the epicenter of that international visiting chaos. In this tropical paradise, the streets are bustling, the beaches are crowded and there are seemingly endless storefronts of gift shops, massage parlors, tailors and restaurants. Everyone is interested in your business. Men will grab you to tell you about the $100 suits they will tailor for you out of the "best material." Young women will holler or grab you to entice you into their drinkery or more often for a massage. The majority of the massage places in this part of Thailand are not selling you traditional Thai body work, but instead likely offering an up sale for... a different type of "traditional body work."
...look for tables packed with locals.
Mmm No. 6
When there are so many eateries in one place, it can be hard to choose. Here's a #tip, if you're walking the streets looking for a good local restaurant, look for tables packed with locals. While in Patong, we strolled by No. 6 Restaurant on Thanon Ratuthit Songroipi Rd it was packed with Thai people and we swooped in just in time before a lined formed. The food was delicious and reasonably priced. We only confirmed later from other locals that it was the best spot to eat.
The Shops
Many of the storefront gift-shops look identical and sell the same things, if you navigate cities by shops you might have some trouble in Patong. One thing you'll notice is no pirce tags. Every thing is negotiable and the first price mentioned is definitly too much to pay. I bought cheap sunglasses for 200 baht (about 6 bucks) but original asking price was 450BHT. We also picked up a 3L waterproof bag for 150 baht (5 bucks) this was perfect for keeping phones, wallets, and passports safe while in the ocean or on kayaks. It's the size of a small purse and since it can forever be used on future kayak trips, it was well worth the purchase. For some reason there are a lot of toy penises.
If you walk by a massage shop and there are younger looking 20-somethings in short shorts and tank-tops offering you a massage, they will likely spend 1-hour rubbing oil on your skin waiting for you to upgrade services
Destination: Water Sport(ish)
The Patong street hustle is a bit overwhelming for my tastes-(speaking of taste, eat a street crepe), but even still, it's worth a pass-through while you're in Phuket. If you prefer to be elsewhere, it's easy to day trip from anywhere in Phuket. Most bookable activities will pick up from your hotel. We booked a sea kayak trip to explore Ao Phang-nga National Park. This park is most famous for acting as as secret base setting in 1974's "The Man with the Golden Gun." Although visiting "James Bond Island" is a popular destination for a photo opp, there are more well-rounded experiences for seeing the National Park. These days, there are plenty of sea kayak charters to choose that allow you to weave in and out of the limestone formations and caves, but John Gray Sea Canoe​'s is the original company. His "Hong by Starlight" day trip is probably not be the cheapest option out there, but it's likely the best overall experience. With three sea canoe destinations, two authentic Thai cuisine meals served up on the ship, and a Loi Kratong floating dreams ritual, there isn't much more you could ask for from a charter. By the end of the day, you'll see how much time, work and effort their team puts in--it's definitely worth the cost. Oh, and don't forget to tip your sea canoe captain. Those guys paddle for you ALL day and just 300BHT ($10 bucks) is a good tip for them.
A Tale of Two Shops
A quick note about the massages, if in fact you are looking for a REAL body work massage, look for the women outside their shops wearing professional traditional massage outfits--they almost look like doctor scrubs. The idea is convey that these women are trained and skilled. They are probably a bit stockier and closer to middle-aged than most of the women hollering your way, but physically and visually it indicates they are the pros. If you walk by a massage shop and there are younger looking 20-somethings in short shorts and tank-tops offering you a massage, they will likely spend 1-hour rubbing oil on your skin waiting for you to upgrade services. I learned this the hard way because there are more of the latter in Patong. And I received likely the worst 1-hour body massage of my life from a very attractive girl who never once applied pressure deeper than my skin. I realized what my mistake was halfway through as she was still oiling my shins. Luckily the pre-negotiated price was lower than the listed asking price, so I got a discounted oily skin rub service for under $10. My calves were extra shiny that day.
Beer of the Day
Phuket Lager Beer, San Miguel Thailand